I have always had an interest in yoga. I've known that it should be in my life. With the religion I grew up with, it prevented me from fully embracing even the idea of practicing yoga. Some ignorant idea that it was wrong for my spirituality.
Freeing myself from that ignorance I especially wanted to embrace yoga specifically for spirituality. It made sense to me that I needed to embark on a spiritual path from what I had ever experienced. Did I? No. Life and a new relationship happily enveloped me. I also had intentions to join a yoga class with the invitation of a friend who instructed the class. It was Hot Yoga. I enjoyed it but still was not motivated to start my journey.
I was in a car accident February 9, 2014. Rear ended at 40 mph. The Dodge Ram truck that rear ended me was going much faster than that! For three months I went to chiropractor and massage appointments, attended school full time and still worked full time. I was to include physical therapy in that schedule, but with the threat of losing my job with the amount of appointments I attended, couldn't seem to fit it in. I felt some relief and then insurance stopped due to some improvements and a reported assessment from a chiropractor that had never even met me!
It is now August 28, 2015. For the last year or so I have struggled with interrupted sleep due to the uncomfortableness of numbness in my arms going down thru my first three fingers. I'm a side sleeper so being on one side for a long period of time causes me to toss and turn all thru the night, sticking pillows between my legs because my lower back hurts and sticking a pillow under my arms because I cant let my arm hang down or it will go numb. I cant sleep on my back for long because my lower back will hurt so I have to put a pillow under my legs to be comfortable. I have experienced very bad left knee pain for the last year as well. I thought it was due to running. I have now connected it to my lower sciatic nerve.
I have to mention this very important detail of discomfort I experience physically and emotionally. Is it normal to look up into the eyes of your partner in a moment of intimacy and be in pain and discomfort? Talk about ruining the moment! this has been happening since the accident.
I don't have insurance for massage or chiropractic, but have had the support from my partner to do a bit of chiropractic because he wants to see a relief in the pain I experience. I went to the doctor and they took a x-ray of my knee even though I told them I believe it is my lower back and they didn't even address my neck and the numbness in my arms. I pressed for another appointment and a referral to address this issue. This all happens in September.
In the mean time I order some dvd's on yoga relieving back pain. My first dvd came in the mail yesterday. "Yoga Rescue for Back Pain" with Desiree Rumbaugh. I started it first thing this morning in my living room. I felt it went really well. I took my time and focused on the correct form and breathing and was very careful not to feel any pain from my movements. Desiree's detailed description and very focused instruction was the core of my success. I felt good. Then at the very end as I was really focusing on relaxation and listening to the instruction to relieve my facial muscles, as I had already started from my toes all the way to my face, I started feeling tears well out of the corners of my eyes. I felt confused but still intent on relaxing and being in the moment. My tears began to break out in a full on sob! It just kept coming, sob after sob. I let it happen and even though it was loud and confusing as to why this was happening, I let it go and went with it. I was wondering in my mind if it was going to stop, lol. I calmed myself with continued relaxation but still feeling on the brink that there was more inside to release, my tears slowed and I gained composure.
I feel that this is the start of my journey and self healing with Yoga. I am dedicated to helping myself heal. Anyone that knows me will attest to this. If there is a problem, interference, wound or issue that is not in balance with in me, I will find a way to correct, heal and find balance.
I am leaving in the morning to camp in the woods next to a lake tomorrow morning. It is suppose to rain. I am excited for the adventure for this will be the first camping experience with my partner.
Before I venture out, I will practice the dvd again. I will blog my Yoga Journey soon.
Love, Balance and Strength,
V
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